Today, I witnessed a level of giving that I would dare say rivals the famous followers of Christ our pastors tell us to epitomize in the book of acts. Of cause the fact that our pastors spot private jets now begs the question “Is Christianity a do as I say, not as I do religion?” But that is a story for another day. Anyways, this selfless inclination to give stemmed from the cry of a young man in university 8hrs from me down in Texas. Apparently, his mum came to the US to visit and took the opportunity to get a routine hospital checkup. Then Sméagol hit the fan (pardon my French but Sméagol is my replacement for the S word). His mum was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and it will cost a back breaking $60,000 to do the operation.
I happen to know one or two things about breast cancer but you need not know rocket science to understand that stage 3 is greater than stage 2 or 1, in other words, this is not some take out a small piece of the woman’s boobs stuff. It’s that off with his head, I mean her boobs Sméagol. Medical Jargon calls this process mastectomy but I figure I put it into perspective. [The fundraising effort is still ongoing so I implore you all to please, biko, ejo donate and save her life. The website is https://www.wepay.com/donate/92676]
Stage 3 breast cancer is characterized by the cancer growing in the lymph nodes around the breast and/or skin. Oh thank God I’m taking a class and I’m working on a project involving the lymphatic system as I type this (yes, mixed priorities but it is what it is). Nonetheless, the lymphatic system is the body’s auxiliary defense system. It’s your body’s sewer system and the sewage treatment plant. In other words if cancerous cells metastasize, its straight up chemotherapy and the odds of surviving that just went down the drain ( you gerrit? Down the drain? Into the sewer? No?). Using the same sewer treatment plant analogy; Cancerous cells are like some alien being that your sewer system cannot detect or kill. So it enters the sewer system (your lymphatics) goes into the treatment facilities (lymph nodes etc), into your water supply (circulatory system/blood stream) and has a field day spreading (metastasizing) like wild fire into your city (your other organs). The only way to take it out is to take out the contaminated piping and treatment facility. This is where the off with her boobs comes into play.
I’m sure I have bored you with all that medical jargon, I’m an engineer for Christ sake, I have bored myself too, but I needed to put it into perspective because one would wonder, how did it get this far? When you hit the higher stages, the signs should be there. They say the breast feels warm or swollen in some cases. In others cases, you should be able to feel an enlarged tumor. You could also notice reddening of the breast. It’s a serious question and I’m sure many of you are wondering, but its rhetorical for me. Why? My mum went through the same thing over a decade ago, resulting in a mastectomy. I joked on twitter not too long ago that if I was who I am now, I would have to ask her "wait mummy, daddy had two hands though. hmm, there is only one to press". But I’m sure in hindsight, I would ask the same question as you, why did it get this far?
This assertion leads me to the topic of my maiden blog post (took me forever I know, I’m sorry I like to beat about the bush). Currently there is a process called breast self examination (BSE) to assist in early detection. I don’t want to make this any longer so I’ll beseech you (ladies especially) to visit http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/BreastSelfExam.html for tutorials and printable files on how to do your BSE. In summary, it has a lot to do with rubbing your boobies, , but should that be the only way? I have heard stories of women touching themselves, heck I can’t lie and say I haven’t indulged in a session of porn or two. Okay I lied, maybe more than 2 but don’t judge me. Nonetheless, I believe its fact that men do more touching than women. Men are most infatuated with the curvaceous nature of a woman’s oranges (water melons exist but we can discuss cup sizes later). We know men long to hold them or just watch them bounce around like Springys, returning to their previous state every time. Oh the blessings of God. Can I get an Amen? I’m sure some dudes out there are saying they prefer booty to boobs but like the pastor story, we’ll deal with that later.
Now, why men? I mean we have these facts, so why can’t there be a method of training men to learn about a/his woman’s breast? Why can’t breast cancer awareness campaigns, workshops etc not be equally catered to men as much as they are directed towards the women folk? I mean pink is the breast cancer color; it’s very “womancentric” for example. We touch their breasts more than they do anyways. This is why I propose Breast smooching examination. Educate men on how to spot lumps and every time they grow a third leg and are ready to explore the female anatomy, they have it at the back of their minds to spot redness or swollen regions of their woman’s God given oranges. You will be surprised at how early detection cases will sky rocket. In addition, those so called players will find a lot of pride in telling a woman or two “I’m an expert in BSE, I boast of over 10 detections. Get at me beautiful”. Its mere speculation on my part but there is so much sense in this.
Until then, women, please be on top of things regarding your body. Spread the word about breast cancer and the need to do your BSE and periodic Mammography tests. I have seen stage 4 cases and by gholly, it’s a scary sight. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for the man that will love to use both hands to caress those precious’s. Don’t leave him handicapped, he’ll love you for it.
Till next time, Off to take my meds,
Kolomental
Plug: So I built this website for my mum’s organization in Nigeria. It’s called Breast Cancer Association of Nigeria and its primary goal is to educate women on breast cancer. Help out by participating or donating. The site is http://www.brecan.org (there is a donate link on there if you would love to help)
